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Baby-sitting is serious business.
Parents who entrust their children to sitters need to feel confident that the caregiver is equipped to keep their children safe, first of all, as well as engaging with them, following the child's routine and keeping the house rules.
While some parents prefer older teens or adults as baby sitters and nannies, there are plenty of tweens and younger teens who are looking for baby-sitting gigs to build their own small businesses taking care of kids.
Mary Barnett, director of health and safety services for the American Red Cross chapter in Asheville, said the agency's baby-sitting class is directed at children ages 11-15, and many 11-year-olds are fully equipped to care for children after completing the course.
"It definitely depends on the child's ability to show that they can be in self-care — knowing what to say on the phone, using the microwave, knowing how to answer the door, etc.," said Sue Estridge, extension agent with the Cooperative Extension in Madison County, which offers a "4-H Super Sitters" program for children ages 11-16.
Regardless of age, there are common rules of thumb that parents and sitters should expect from each other. Here are some issues that should be considered.
Communication is key
Eve Kindley, 4-H and youth development extension agent at the Madison County Center, who co-teaches the Super Sitters course with Estridge, said parents should tell the sitter where they will be, provide cell phone numbers, doctor, poison control and other emergency phone numbers, and show the sitter the location of emergency supplies like syrup of ipecac and bandages.
"Don't expect that (a sitter) knows what you want or what will make you happy," said Jennifer Losch, a marketing executive and mother of a 2- and 3-year-old.
"Make a list of what you want and be specific."
Laura Backe, who began baby-sitting when she was in middle school and recently earned her bachelor's degree in elementary education, said sitters appreciate those details.
"I like to know things like if a kid gets a pacifier before bed, the things they are and aren't allowed to do, like no candy after dinner," Backe said. "
And it's definitely good to understand the rules of discipline – what's the consequence of breaking the rules, and what are those rules. Some parents just don't think about that."
Barnett said students in the Red Cross baby-sitting class practice interviewing skills and learn how to conduct a family interview to determine if the job is right for them — and for the parents to decide if the child is the right baby-sitter for their children.
The going rate
Sue Sparboe-Derry, an industrial engineer with CarePartners and mother of 5- and 7-year-old daughters, said she normally pays around $8 an hour, which she considers "probably in the 'low' range."
Kindley said the average baby-sitting rate is between $8-$12, but wages can vary depending on factors like location, experience, number of children and any additional requirements from parents.
Backe said she generally doesn't take less than $10 an hour for one or two kids, and $12 for three or more. The rate for infants should be $11 because they require more care, she said.
Younger sitters, including tweens, tend to command less money, often as little as $5 per hour.
What should parents expect?
"I have to be able to contact them — if I leave a message, they need to call back," Sparboe-Derry said. "My one expectation is that TV is not on the sitter's agenda; they have to be able to entertain the kids and not just slip in a movie."
Losch said she expects sitters to put the kids' toys away, make their beds and clean up their dishes after a meal. "And since the kids still nap, I expect that while they are sleeping, the sitter should be doing something extra to help out, like folding the kids' laundry and putting it away, or sweeping up a bit."
Lissa Calloway, who owns the Asheville Area Nanny Network, looks for "someone who shows responsibility, is prompt in arriving and answering my phone calls, someone who doesn't talk on their phone a lot and someone who seems to want to be around children."
Estridge said parents should look for sitters who enjoy engaging with children, who know and respect house rules, know how to act in an emergency and are creative thinkers, "able to think of activities on the fly, such as a quick song to redirect attention."
What should sitters expect?
Baby-sitters should expect parents will be clear about the rates they will pay — such as a reduced rate while the children are sleeping — and about their expectations for cleanup and chores, how children should be disciplined and the standard expectations for behavior.
Claire Roth, 12, of Asheville, who took the Red Cross baby-sitting course when she was 11, said it's helpful when parents discuss some activities with the kids before the baby-sitter arrives "so they might be excited about what they're doing to do, and you don't have to come up with as many activities on your own."
Backe said sitters who are new to a family appreciate it when the parents take a few minutes "to walk through the house and show the sitter around and be relaxed around the kids before you leave."
And what about kids who behave badly? Should the sitter tell the parents?
"Ask the parents how they want a specific situation handled," Calloway said. "Such as, 'Last week Tommy kept hitting the cat and would not listen to me when I asked him to stop. How do you all deal with him when he does that?' If they are good parents, they will give you some clues. If not, they will say to ignore it."
Calloway said sitters can risk losing a job if they defy parents' rules about discipline, even if the child's behavior is intolerable.
"You have to follow the parents' wishes, because the kids will tell their parents and you might not be asked back," she said.
"Although I've used time-outs, and the parents were so pleased to see the kid listen to someone that I got a fulltime job out of it in college."
"Don't expect that (a sitter) knows what you want or what will make you happy. Make a list of what you want and be specific."
Jennifer Losch, a marketing executive and mother of a 2- and 3-year-old
Baby-sitting classes
The Asheville-Mountain Area Chapter of the American Red Cross will hold baby sitter training from 9 a.m.-3:30 p.m. Oct. 31, Nov. 21 and Dec. 19. Cost is $45, which includes the student book, first aid kit and a bag. Register by calling 258-3888, ext. 207.
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